darrus (darrus) wrote,

  • Music:

Still Waters


: darrus
Fandom: German National team
Pairing: Klinsmann/Loew, various
Rating: PG 
Language: English
Warning: RPS

Disclaimer: I still don't know people mentioned in this story and I still hope it isn't true. The plot is still only my fantasy

Author's notes, previous chapters and music here

Timeline for the series is here 

Still Waters


‘Are we still together?’

Lifted eyebrow and a smile dancing in the sky-blue eyes.

‘But of course we are’.


It’s a curious question to ask, lying in bed with a lover after another round of mind-blowing sex. Even more strange because he has no idea what to say next.

And Jürgen is still looking at him, amused-questioning look on his face, a hint of teasing and good humor. And a gentle touch, fingers entwining with his.



‘Do you love me?’

He’s asked, looking straight at Jürgen.

‘Of course I do’.

Sincere answer without the slightest hesitation.

If he’s only noticed something, something… A pause, a moment’s thought, strange wording – but there was none of it.

And that brought the relationship back on track.



Or did it? It depends…

He wonders sometimes, if they are still lovers. That’s why he keeps asking questions.



‘Do you have another lover?’

‘I’m married, Jogi!’

He doesn’t share the laughter, and Jürgen looks at him with a solemn expression, a stark contrast to the smile that was on his face a second ago.

‘I don’t need anyone when I have you’.

Can it be that Jürgen is lying to him?



He wonders sometimes, if everything can be even remotely close to where it was before… Before this summer, he puts the Final of Euro as a mark when everything went wrong – and can it be right again?



‘Were you lovers with Lineker?’

And it’s the only time Jürgen hesitates before answering.

‘Never’. One word with a wealth of meanings before it – and he knows he is supposed to explain why he’s asking this, but he can’t.

And Jürgen has a completely different mobile phone now. He notices it when the thing falls from the pocket of Jürgen’s jacket, discarded carelessly in the heat of passion.

And he wishes he could get hold on it.



And he wishes that Jürgen was supporting him without making him question what he is doing. Like Hansi and not like Bierhoff.

And reading the newspaper he knows that it should be Jürgen saying the approving words. And such irony is that the man supporting him is Matthäus.

He wishes that Jürgen wouldn’t argue with him.



‘Are you questioning my ability to run the team?’


Jürgen touches his arm briefly.

‘You know that I never did from the moment we started working together – and I never will’.

Did he hear a ‘but’ in this answer? Or maybe he’s imagining it?



 Or maybe he’s missing a point entirely.



‘Are you happy?’

‘I am.’

Can it be that he’s asking the wrong questions?



Can it be that there is something else, something that will explain everything, and he needs just one question, one certain thing to ask – and everything will fit into place like it should be?



‘Is there something you regret?’


‘Some opportunity missed. Something you would’ve done differently if you’ve had a chance?’

‘No’. Thoughtful and quiet, but with the same certainty in every word – just like Jürgen’s other answers. ‘No matter what, all the important decisions I’ve made still stand. I am a happy man’.

And while the answer does fit the question it doesn’t seem right. Again.



Or maybe he’s still searching for a right question to ask.




Tags: coach otp, fanfiction, football, klinsmann, loew, matthaeus, perhaps love, slash, soccer
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