TRY TO PROVE THAT YOU’RE NOT A CAMEL…
Time: WC 1990
Disclaimer: Not true
A/N 1: Remember this match? And spitting?
A/N 2: I read somewhere that WC 1990 was the last time the players of National Team lived in two-bed rooms. Nobody knows who lived with whom, but it’s known that Klinsmann and Voeller are good friends. So let’s assume they lived together, ok?
Summary: evening after Germany-Netherlands match, Rudi’s POV
Try to Prove That You’re Not a Camel
- And all these damned arbiters should be sent off from this championship, to hell in the third league!
I don’t know how many loops I’ve done already across the room but there’ll soon be a hole in the carpet. And I’m behaving adequately, if you want to know. Not breaking chairs, not throwing things and not even swearing too much. I’m calm, I’m absolutely calm. Normal behavior of a man who’s got spit at, then got hit and then was sent off for it all. And what do you want from me after that?
- Just to find the one who sends these clinical idiots to judge matches! One doesn’t see an offside from two steps distance, the other saw cards for the first time and has no better entertainment than flashing them left and right. Yellow one, red one, oh how beautiful!
My speech goes on for forty minutes already. All this while Jürgen is sitting on the window-sill with a book in hands, trying to pretend that he is not ignoring me. It consists mostly of some unintelligible noises he is making from time to time in reply to my words.
- And then I’m getting a disqualification, I’m getting a lection from Franz, I’m becoming a laughing-stock for the whole Germany, I’m sitting here like spit-upon…
Unlucky word-play it was… If this damned friend of mine dares to laugh, I don’t know what I’ll do with him. But no, no, we have such an interesting book, we’re not even listening to what others are saying. If he only knew how he annoys me with his behavior…
- And what did you forget there, you damned peacemaker? If I’ve only gave this… this…
- Defender on
Ah, how witty. I should laugh, I suppose.
- This half-idiot what he deserver, at list I would’ve got sent off for a reason! Why did you have to interfere, was it any of your business? – I stop right in front of him. – Am I talking with you or with the wall, damn you!
He finally lifts his eyes from the book and looks at me. With a smile. No, just look at him, and now he is smiling!
- Rudi, if you want to start a fight, you’ve got the wrong address. Lothar lives across the corridor, but I won’t recommend starting a fight with him, he’s the captain after all. You can try the goalkeepers, they are living one floor lower.
Knocking saves him from everything I was going to say about it.
I throw the door open and ask as evenly as I can.
- What is it?
Hmm, looks like it wasn’t too polite. Good that it’s not one of the coaches. Klaus Augenthaler is standing before me, looking at me curiously.
- Rudi, have you gone wild or what?
Aha, another joker. Looks like we’ve got the whole team of them.
- Say what you want and get out.
- As you say. We were just planning to go into town and wanted to ask if you’ll go with us.
- And we can’t go anywhere.
Said the voice from the window-still. Auge turns to Jürgen instantly.
- And why?
- And Rudi is under house arrest for this evening, - continues my dear colleague. – Franz’s order.
- Oops. And why?
Instead of answering Jürgen starts whistling “Caravan”. And does it horribly out of tune, by the way.
Wild laughter is heard from the corridor. Looks like the whole company of jokers is gathered there.
I feel the perfectly normal and understandable desire to hit someone. Klaus probably sees it on my face because the door closes after him as quickly as possible.
I turn to Jürgen.
- Klinsmann, your mother…
- Let’s not talk about relatives, - answers he in the same calm tone and not looking at me.
Now that was enough.
I come closer to him and knock the book out of his hands with one motion. It lands on the carpet three steps away from us. Should not forget to ask later what he is reading.
- Listen, you…
He jumps off the window-sill and looks at me. Still smiling.
- Rudi, I’m sorry, but I won’t be arguing with you. And I won’t fight with you either. Calm down.
Should I hit him? Just to make him lose this smile. His behavior angers me to no end. I grab him by the shoulders and shake. Doesn’t help, he is still as calm. Decided not to react to anything I’ll be doing? We’ll see.
I kiss him on the lips.
Not bad, I’d say. Haven’t expected something like that from myself. And by the way it is pleasant. Even more than pleasant. Oh well, now that’s exactly what I needed. Making advances at my best friend. I wonder if he’ll hit me for it. I at least would have done it in his place.
We part. He is looking at me as calmly and with the same smile. Isn’t he tired of it himself?
- Rudi, just tell me honestly, how much did you drink today?
- You won’t even imagine.
I kiss him again, and this time he answers. Feels so damned good. Never would have imagined that I might desire a man, and now look at it…
Sound of the door closing makes me turn around. Interesting, who could that be?
Jürgen starts laughing.
I turn to him, embracing him more tightly at the same time.
- What’s so funny?
He puts his hands on my shoulders.
- If we’ll have to explain ourselves tomorrow, you’ll be the one to do it.