BEND AND BREAK (2)
Fandom: German National team
Pairing: Klinsmann/Loew, various
Disclaimer: I still don't know people mentioned in this story and I still hope it isn't true. The plot is still only my fantasy
Author's notes, previous chapters and music here
Timeline for the series is here
Bend and Break (2)
He's a curious man, Lothar Matthäus. Every time I talk to him, I feel it more and more.
He's a curious man. Interesting in his own way and more than strange sometimes.
I like talking to him. Even more so I like baiting him, trying to make him answer some questions I find... Curious. Yes, that's the word.
I like talking to him. He's random in his behavior and has a knack of looking like talking sincerely while not saying anything at all. That's what makes it so interesting - trying to find a way through this riddle.
I admit, from my part it looks almost like prying. But as long as he doesn't mind - why should I care?
The best thing of it all is that it annoys Hansi. Every time he sees me in conversation with Lothar, he makes a point of driving the attention to himself and preventing us from talking one-to-one. That's part of the reason I love spending time with Lothar.
But he really is an interesting man, and no point pretending that I don't like him just for who he is. I do.
He's one of the most unlikely men for me to socialize with, even less for me to become friends with, but... No, we're not friends, but maybe we're getting there somehow.
And I'm not even sure he likes me. I still look too much like my older brother, so he has no reason to like me whatsoever. But still he's spending even more time with me than he does with Hansi (at least what I'm aware of). And we talk.
I usually ask him some of the most pointless things. I tell myself that it's the scientific interest - only these small, inconsequential things may lead to the real understanding of one's character. He probably thinks I'm stupid or have nothing to talk about. Which is absolutely correct - what do I have to talk about with him?
Yesterday was just an example. "What is your favorite city", I asked him. He looked at me with some wry smile and said, "New-York". It looked like he wasn't even surprised by my question - but I, I was surprised by the answer.
"Not München? Not even Erlangen?"
He smiled once more. "Why should they be?"
And again I was intrigued by his answer this time - New York?
Then I've used my usual source for information of this sort - Hansi.
We were drinking. Or rather I was - that evening for some reason he was staying away from the bottle. I've poured myself some scotch and sat there, watching him - or rather watching his hands, how he toyed with my lighter, nervously flicking it between his fingers. Tea-cups were on the shelves, teapot was whistling, and his scotch was bad, not that I minded. He looked tired, and his cup was still almost full. I've found an almost-empty jar of jam in the fridge. He smirked and dared me to try it.
There was some silly comedy show on, which we both didn't pay attention to. He was quiet, unusually so, but then they all were these days. The same shadow is lying on Jogi's face, and all of them find it hard to smile.
I asked my question between the banter about not-so-fresh jam and pointless chat about gardening. If he was annoyed by another question regarding Matthäus, he didn't show it. He didn't even try to joke, just said, "I don't know", and I had no doubt it really was the case.
"I just find it strange - New York of all places. Wasn't his attempt to play there...", I paused to find a word.
"Abysmal, don't say it though", he finished for me. Then shrugged. "I don't know why New York. I just know he was there some weeks ago. L also know Klinsmann was there roughly at the same time. Your guess is as good as mine."
I watched these restless movements of his fingers, then took the lighter away from him and covered his hand with mine. He didn't look up.
I leant across the table then and kissed him.
We ended up in bed. After sex I lit up the cigarette and looked at him. It seemed he didn't mind - or didn't care.
We were still holding hands when I fell asleep.
He's a curiosity in itself, this Lothar Matthäus. It's almost as if he is fascinating me, and I can't get rid of this interest.
"It always was his strength", comments Hansi when I share this thought with him. I look at him questioningly.
"He always had this sort of charm - ability to interest people", he explains. "His problem is that it never worked with those people who really matter".
"People?" I laugh.
"Ok, just one man, maybe". Hansi doesn't smile, and his hands again are restless. Then he suddenly looks me in the eye. "I suppose I have exactly the same problem, do I?"
"You do", I answer before I can think of something clever to say, "But you're getting much better at it".
And now he smiles.
And the strangest thing of it all - it may be the truth. He never was charming and I don't find him fascinating, but...
When I get in bed with him, I always notice that it feels natural now. I want it, and it's right, and realizing it has changed nothing.
It may be a scary thought, but why should I care?