SAY IT ISN'T SO
Fandom: German National team
Pairing: Klinsmann/Loew, various
Disclaimer: I still don't know people mentioned in this story and I still hope it isn't true. The plot is still only my fantasy
Author's notes, previous chapters and music here
Timeline for the series is here
Say It Isn’t So
Debbie opens the door.
She looks pleased to see him but for a bit of annoyance, the smile that says ‘ah, great to see you here’ and at the same time it’s ‘ah, I’m not dressed up and my makeup is not finished to welcome the guest’, and curious ‘what are you doing here unannounced’ hiding in the expression of her face.
He himself is not sure what he is doing here – not anymore.
She greets him and invites him to the house, her movements somewhat rushed, as if she’s embarrassed about toys that are lying all over the carpet and Jürgen’s shirt thrown over the shelf.
She’s chatting merrily, inquiring about usual things. He can do nothing but smile back and keep the small talk going while she invites him to sit and offers coffee.
He kept calling Jürgen the whole day yesterday. He dialed the number over and over, and every single time he’s got the most annoying ever voice telling him, that Jürgen is out of reach. And though he’s never thought much about superstitions, it still was freaking him out.
‘Out of reach’
‘Out of reach’
‘Out of reach’
He swore at the phone and kept dialing but lost patience and just turned the damn thing off. He’s thought about calling in the morning but couldn’t bear the thought of hearing the damned ‘out of reach’ for one more time – and he wasn’t going to let Jürgen out of his reach.
Even the prospect of seeing Debbie wasn’t enough to stop him from doing another silly thing. And here he was, listening to her.
He was still explaining to her which coffee he’d prefer when Jürgen joined them. Appeared soundlessly at the doorway. Smiled at his wife, a soundless greeting passing between them.
Said ‘Hello Jogi’ – in cheerful tone that indicated that the man he was saying ‘hello’ to is his best friend. Sat down in front of him and asked Debbie if she minds making two cups of coffee instead of one.
He knows Jürgen well enough to understand that he’ll gain nothing from his visit here.
He was going to talk. Really talk about thigs. Apologize – yes, there was that. Ask Jürgen why he lied to him about the relationship with Lineker and more importantly make him admit to the state of this relationship as of now. And then…
Then decide, would be the logical course of action. But there was logic and there were feelings and he knew he was somehow going to find something that will allow him to forgive Jürgen – but first he was going to talk.
But now he knows that he should have dedicated the day to work. Because Jürgen is smiling.
The way this conversation is bound to go is playing out in his mind. ‘I’m sorry’, he will say; ‘Everything is fine, don’t worry’, will be the answer, ‘I still want to continue this relationship’, he will suggest, ‘Sure’, Jürgen will answer – and no way to ask about anything really important. He’s seen Jürgen doing it before – shutting everything out, so the opponent will be making a fool of himself just by touching the unpleasant subject. The tactics was in full force now.
He’s still got what he wanted – well, not what he wanted, but at least it was something.
Jürgen was sipping his coffee and watching the sparkles play across the tablecloth from a polished spoon. Jürgen has already assured him that everything is alright and fine and great many times over, and denied having a lover – his anger peaked at the obvious lie though he’s managed to hold it in check - but at his question about further relationship Jürgen just shrugged.
‘I don’t know, Jogi’, he was speaking softly. ‘I think we need a break for now’.
There was laughter from some other room – a woman and a girl, wife and daughter. And a scent of cinnamon and vanilla, freshly baked cakes. A worn-looking teddy-bear on the table, coloring book opened on a picture of Superman, empty CD cases on the floor. Home, personal space of another man – and how he hated it because knowing that he has no place here was bitter – he shouldn’t have been here and Jürgen shouldn’t have been here too. He’s hated the place.
‘I think we need to… rest… rest a bit, take a time off and see if… Jogi, I don’t know if I can do it anymore, with Debbie being here so close… I need time, you need…’, the last was cut off after Jürgen threw a glance in his direction and probably has seen it on his face, ‘We just need a bit of time’
‘So be it’, it was a strange way to answer, so much pathos in it and standing up with dramatic flare was a good addition. But there was Jürgen’s smile, undisturbed and calm, like a shild around him. He’s felt like he has rung into the wall.
And they were taking the time off. For now, as Jürgen has said.
‘I can walk’.
‘Sure you can’, answered Hansi and stood up to bring the book from the table to him.
‘Stop being intolerable’.
‘Your knee needs rest’, Flick said it matter-of-factly, with no-nonsense undertone to it. He’s sighed and resigned himself to being patronizing.
‘Just don’t do it in public’.
‘I won’t. I don’t want your blonde to think…’ Hansi cut himself off.
So, again he’s too transparent. Can’t control his expression – or maybe Hansi is too attentive for his own good.
He doesn’t say a word and Hansi doesn’t return to this theme.
He understands. Discussing the messy lovelife is not the most exciting of things when there is an important match to think about and great weather to enjoy. And Hansi himself looks too happy to get into someone else’s problems.
He just refrains from asking about Hansi’s own private life – because there was no indication that such questions will be welcome, but also because right now he doesn’t want to know how happy someone else is.
So, they’re taking a break. For now.